(Ed. note: One of my eagle-eyed and more astute than me readers did take issue with the use of the word anagrams... after all, these terms I've described are not realio trulio anagrams by strict definition, but more like abbreviations. However, i stand by my title given the anagram I sort of form in the last paragraph. Hey, made you go look up anagrams, didn't I? Whoopdie fricking doo. or WFD to you.)
I am cursed with the occasional need and ability to express myself in colorful terms: colorful, creative, adult, wilt the flowers off the drapes terms. There will be some of these as example further down in this post, so let this serve as warning, disclaimer and teaser.
Now, you know, Maxwell the medium-sized boy is just getting to be so old and mature and almost an adult and all that, and he is learning language in other quarters that fits the above description to an F, if you get me. I can only give him the stink eye so many times and remind him that this is not nice, that this is strictly adult language and he is not allowed to use it, while trying to remember to mutter "Sheep Dip!" when stubbing toe the 643rd time on the effing coffee table. And you further realize, being the modern and hip (do they still say hip?) reader that you are, that anagrams are all the hotness right now. All the texting, friending, blogging kids do it. OMG, LOL, WTF, MOUSE. (I threw in that last one for the elderly Annette Funicello fans…)
Anyway, with this kid in the house, I must learn to curtail my seaman-like predilections, and since Max has way learned to spell, anagrams are the way to go for at least a couple of weeks, until he figures out what all those letters might mean. So now TFN, outbursts in my house will be more live texting events than actual strings of blue hung about the premises. Let’s see if we can all follow. You may do thumb to tiny keyboard exercises if it helps.
So when one of the male people I live with has performed a stunt that is TSTBB, I can mentally THD (he's going down...) with a hearty FYATSPYRIO. (something to do with a small horse…) or HFS (blessed airborne feces). Or a perennial favorite, FYAEWLLY. (the dreaded Doppelganger curse.) I may just work that last one into Fay-Willy. Yeah, and then I’ll really be taking the adult exclamation into deep cover. I’ll have to practice. Ahem. Fay-Willy! Fay-Willy, Sheep Dip, Monkey Pus! (Think Steve Carell getting bikini waxed...) Doesn’t quite have the ring of hell, damn, shit, piss and corruption, but I guess it will do. Until Maxwell FOWIM, or IGTOATFL, KWIM?
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