I am just a tad under the weather. Translation: if I don't hurry up and crank the whining and moaning, neither of the male people I live with will notice that I am sick. It's a secret currently shared only with the new baby cat. She makes the funniest jerky baby cat startled and amused dance steps when I blow into kleenex. Heheh if I wasn't so out of sorts, I'd laugh more than blow. But I am. And I'm not sick enough to work up a decent fever, so I could have concrete evidence and could lay on the sofa asking for water and cool washrags and ibuprofen. Now I just sound funny, look a tad pitiful and smell faintly of the vaporub I insist on to keep my nose from flaking off my face. From all the honking and blowing and subsequent laughing at the baby cat.
I'm scarfing those Vitamin C cough drops and mainlining mucinex - I bought the generic kind because I hate the idea of propagating the career of that thing on those commercials. Bad, bad advertising agency somewhere, getting rich off of lame mucus glob animation. Ugh. I just imagine the copywriter's memoirs: My Career: The Phlegm Years. Jerry Della Femina would be so proud. Okay, so, I've been up for an hour and have added several more kleenez to the soggy collection. Time to get more mucinex, drink half a gallon of water for the cotton mouth I've acquired from having to bypass the non-functioning vaporub-smeared nasal area. Oh, got to get some more of that too, since the application of the kleenex dissipates it. Have to lay down some more, try to get some sleep. On the bright side, the effects of fresh minty toothpaste are intensified by mouth breathing, just after brushing your teeth, you get this minty blowback of flavor. On the other hand, you can use up twelve hours of minty blowback in six minutes of mouth breathing.
All right, slinking off into bed once again. If you need me, just follow the kleenex trail, or look for the baby cat doing the merengue.
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