Lately, I've been turning over the dirt, feeling like I need to freshen up and grow a bit. Dealing with issues, and poking places that would really rather not be so poked. I blame the new kitten and the medium boy. Having to be whole enough to deal with both of them on a daily basis is quite the challenge for damaged goods like myself. Oh, and my internist, who gently suggests that I am the most fit person in an overweight body he's seen. Oh brother -- gotta live up to that one! Pre-President Obama's "mutt" comment set me to thinking as well. I relate, Your Pre-Presidentness. Oh yeah, I do.
In addition, I had lunch with Bren, who is number one cheerleader and fellow seeker. We can get deep over Thai food; plus I sat in Juliet's mini-van and talked about adoption all the way to and from a football game, as our kids wambled in the back seat. Got the digging really going, that spade flying past all sorts of feelings, so much I had to stop sniveling into my pillow next to obliviously snoring Chuck before I either drowned or woke him way before time. So the psychic dirt is flying and the kleenex is mounding. Here's a small verse traverse that wrote itself tonight.
Birthmother Supernova
She didn’t stay to see me shine
It was her loss and now it’s mine.
She didn’t listen for the sound of my laugh
Or wake up to hear me cry.
No long sunny days, no sleepless nights,
Just another winter afternoon, end of January.
A chill in the air, nothing more.
Was there longing?
Did she stop and shed secret tears?
Was there a shadow crossing her face when
A blue-eyed baby girl cooed up at her?
Does she miss me still?
She should, for I am a star
Putting out light and heat for all I’m worth.
Too bad she couldn’t stay,
Stay and see me shine.
Okay, that's all I got. Must find kleenex and maybe sleep and dig.
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