It's midnight. The house is blissfully, finally asleep. The clanging of a gong brings me out of the depths of a dream. Wait, that's the - no is it?- the phone is ringing. I am on my feet still half snoring, catch the clock with one eye and see a two. Hmmmm. This can't be good. Notice as I make my way into the living room a body on the other side of the bed. Get to the phone. Use that same one eye to see that the ID says Private Caller. "Hello?" A male voice says, "Ms. Ellen?" Whoa. That's me. "Yes?" "This is Sgt. Whateverhesaid of the Lafayette Sheriff's Office." WHAT?! I am now awake. Alert. Bordering on concerned. My brain kicks into high gear. I could win Jeopardy single-handedly right NOW. The voice continues through the new adrenaline. "I'm calling about your son, Dwan." By the end of this sentence, I have traveled to the door of my bedroom, thrown it open and flicked on the light, discovering that it was not 2 AM but only midnight, and the body in the bed was Chuck. He's now awake, too. And why not, I don't have to be the only one on an adrenaline jag.
"My son, Dwan??" During this three-word sentence, I head to the other side of the house to Max's room, throw open that door, and growl like the mom in the GEICO commercial, all the time thinking, OMG, Max has sneaked out of the window, hitched to Lafayette, gotten in trouble and now told the sheriff his name is Dwan, no maybe it's one of his crazy friends??? Oh, I am in such troooouuubbbble. "Max! Maxwell?!" (I really think somebody heard me say these things and then wrote that piggie commercial...) A small voice comes from the bottom bunk. "Mom?"
"Sargeant, I only have one son. His name is Maxwell, and he's in his bed. But how did you know my name was Ellen??" "Ma'am, just a minute. Is your last name Armelin??" "No sir, it's not." "Well, I have to apologize. This was a wrong number. Please excuse the ring." Click.
My now adrenaline-soaked parts process this. Thirty-three seconds ago when this crazy time started, my then still slumbering brain processed "Ms. Armelin" as "Ms. Ellen." Twenty minutes later when I finally managed defib, I went back to bed. Some time later, to sleep. From time to time, I've wondered how Ms. Armelin was, and what the trouble was that Dwan had given all of us. And if that sheriff's officer regularly misdials in the middle of the night.
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